heyh8r:

I think I’m sad because I’m tired of feeling numb. I want to feel something; even if it means crying myself to sleep every night, or putting a fake smile on so people don’t think I’m seeking attention. When you’re sad, you feel the aching in your heart and that’s how I know I’m still alive. Yes, I’m alive but I am not here. When I feel pain, I know that I am still here and I am still in this world going about my day just like everyone else.

I guess what I’m trying to get at is I really just want to be normal.

Lol I was 18 when I wrote this which was the year I never thought I would see past…….. I’m 28 now and I genuinely am shocked that I am still alive lol

heyh8r:

Katie, I seriously can’t believe you left me. 

Your beautiful face, I miss it so much. As I’m writing this I’m literally in complete tears and I’m still stiff. 

I still remember when we literally spent hours looking for each other on omegle because whenever you found me, the smile on your face lit up so much that I just fell in love with it. 

We connected and bonded so much and the fact that you’re gone makes me tear up inside. 

Please come back to me, please. 

I’m literally going crazy down here, I know you can see it. It didn’t hit me all day until now that you’re gone. 

My heart is in a million pieces and I can’t even begin to tell you how much you meant to me. 

You didn’t think you mean’t a lot to you but sweetie, I was in love with you. 

I saved your life 3 times, but why couldn’t I save you just one more baby. Just one more.

I need you to please look over me, please. I need your help to survive.

You are my guardian angel. You are perfect and I love you.

I’m broken, I can feel my heart in a million pieces, and you need to help me. 

I love you and I’m going to miss you so much Katie. 

Rest in Peace baby, I know you’re so much better now and out of this horrible place. 

I still think about you every single day and it’s been 11 years. 

I’ve felt lost for so long, and I don’t know why my heart rejects this website to use as a platform to voice the words in my head. Sigh, I blame nostalgia. 

I often think about this website, and how everything used to be…. Absolutely insane time of my life

Whenever I decide to log onto Tumblr, I seriously get a pit in my stomach thinking about how absolutely insane it is that life can change SO drastically. 

Thinking about my life now, and who I am and what I do now, compared to when I was so popular on this website, and considered tumblr “famous”, back in 2009-2014, it’s like we are looking at two completely different existences. 

It is now 2019, and I am 23 years old, and I am someone who mirrors the girl I used to be, yet, there is absolutely no resemblance between the two what so ever. 

I think about how my life used to be, and it’s absolutely insane what I went through, what I endured, how I reacted, and how my life even played out… 

I am truly forever grateful for the experiences I encountered throughout those unbelievable years, for they all molded me into the type of person I am today… A type of person I never, in a million years, thought I could ever amount to be back when I saw one imagine for my future.

If you have been with me from the beginning, close or distant, you will always have a friend in me. 

From me, to all of you who have crossed my path one time or another, I thank you.